Fostering a dog to heal a grieving heart

When wildfires consumed large swaths of acreage in Los Angeles last week, the entire population of nearly 4 million was affected in some way. If the fires didn’t affect you directly, it was stress and anxiety fueled by constant reports of loss of life and property.

For Erin Yarbrough, a law student living in West Los Angeles, things were OK except for the smoke that seemed to permeate everything. But aside from the fumes, her residence was intact, and she was still pretty much able to go about her business.

But then, tragedy. Her 4-year-old dog, Sonny, suddenly passed away, and her whole world seemed to fall apart in a way that only pet lovers can truly understand.

Erin adopted Sonny in 2021 when he was 8 weeks old. “He was just a little puppy with these huge paws. He was like 90% paws and ears,” she says. “And he was such a special light in a world that is often quite dark. I often say he was my emotional support animal. That’s a simple term, but he was really everything to me. He was my waking up. He was my going to bed.”

People who lose pets react in different ways, but when it happens there’s a tendency to want to curl up on a couch and stay isolated. But Erin couldn’t do that. She felt a tugging in her heart to get up and do something. She knew where that came from: It was Sonny.

[Coping with pet loss]

“As a puppy, he drove me up the wall at times,” Erin says. “But we had a soul bond. We could communicate with one look. And as it turned out, my whole life was built around him. It was so natural. It was simply the way my life was supposed to be.”

Sonny was tugging at her heartstrings to get up and get moving, she says. “I think he was calling me to be there for other animals. He wanted me to help dogs like he helped me. So many times he would get me out of bed when I was too depressed to move. He would, you know, lick away my tears. And he would bring me so much joy and comfort. I think he was telling me that I need to give what he gave to me.”

The evening she lost Sonny, Erin was with people she cares about the most. “My friends are so lovely, and they were taking good care of me,” she says. “We wound up looking at some animals online, and, somehow, it brought me this strange comfort. I could see pictures of so many animals just waiting to be loved. I needed to go somewhere and do something. So I thought let’s go to the closest rescue and look at some animals.”

One dog caught her attention. He was at the Best Friends Lifesaving Center in West L.A. His name was Sid, and the simple description read: “Extra-large and looking for a foster home.”

Erin says: “I thought, that’s interesting. So my partner, Stephen, took me there, and we took a few dogs for walks. But I was feeling a little guilty because I had just lost my dog the day before. Here I am (at Best Friends), and I don’t want Sonny to think I’m replacing him. It was grief, just basic grief.”

But then she got a look at Sid. “We walked over, and he was just sitting there wagging. He’s a big, big guy, and he’s just lying there smiling like ‘Hello.’ And he had these big beautiful yellow-brown eyes, and I was like: I have my heart set on him. That’s him. He wants to come home with us today.”

On the car ride to Erin’s place, Sid settled down in the back seat, but he obviously picked up the scent of Sonny, who always went everywhere with Erin.

It’s common, and even expected, for animals to be a little nervous or confused when arriving in a new home, but not Sid. Erin says: “He is very confident, not timid at all. He went into the kitchen, then came back out. He looked at me, wagged his tail, and then went around the couch sniffing. He was like, can I get on the couch? I said yes, you can get on the couch.

“After a while, we lay down on the couch, and after about two hours he was relaxed and more settled. Then we did a little playing, and I gave him some food and some treats. We got him new toys. He’s very much a puppy still and is excited to be in the space.”

Erin’s already given Sid a new name. It’s Spud. “He’s definitely a Spud,” she says. “You should hear him snore.”

Erin says she’s still grieving and that she expects to do so for a while yet. “Spud is not expected to be a grief panacea for me,” she says. “And that’s not what he is. He’s his own dog, very much his own dog. It’s very clear he is not my Sonny, and I will never expect him to be.”

Even though Sonny left a big blank space in Erin’s life, she says it’s like Spud is filling that space in ways only pet people know about. “He’ll suddenly interrupt me if I’m crying and bring over this big rope (toy). And then he waddles away and brings back something else.”

[Opening heart to new dog is adopter’s antidote to grief]

Spud is the sweetheart who’s helping Erin mend hers. And she’s feeling it.

“It’s good to be doing something for another being who needs it,” she says. “We don’t know much about what happened to Spud before he came here, but he’s so happy and joyful. And it’s good to have that joyous spirit around.”

Spud is still technically her foster dog, but Erin says she’s ordered him a permanent name tag. “The Best Friends staff told me no hurry, to take my time,” Erin says. “But I would say he’s home for good.”

Our goal at Best Friends is to support all animal shelters in the U.S. in reaching no-kill in 2025. No-kill means saving every dog and cat in a shelter who can be saved, accounting for community safety and good quality of life for pets. 

Shelter staff can’t do it alone. Saving animals in shelters is everyone’s responsibility, and it takes support and participation from the community. No-kill is possible when we work together thoughtfully, honestly, and collaboratively.